Rest in Peace

It's always hard to say goodbye to someone especially if he or she made a huge impact in our lives. Our Former President Corazon Aquino who died in Colon Cancer last Saturday recognized as the mother of democracy here in the Philippines. She was an inspiration and will always be a constant reminder to fight for what we believe in. She was just a plain housewife who ousted a dictator in a peaceful manner.

Amidst the heavy rain and strong winds, people still flock to Manila Memorial Park to join the funeral of former president. It's been an emotional week for all of us especially seeing Kris (the youngest daughter) crying in national tv. She made a lot of emphasis to her mom's selfless service to our country men. It is without a doubt endearing to all Filipinos. It even made me realize how grateful I am to be a Filipino. I just hope that we should always remember the struggles and the contributions she made in our history.

It felt like as if, Cory is more alive to us than she has ever been before. This is in remembrance to an amazing leader, a simple housewife and an inspiration to all Filipinos.

Few Days Down

Today is my restday and I cannot wait for my payday! Im counting down the days for June 29 to come. It's the d-day because me and my friends are gonna go out and watch Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Its gonna be a blockbuster for sure.

There's really not much going on. The weather is pretty unpredictable. Class are suspended because of the typhoon but we have a sunny afternoon. People are questioning if cancelling the classes is a great idea. But the Department confirmed that we are gonna have a typhoon starting today.

For now, I'm still trying to finish Paolo Coelho's The Witch of Portobello. I've been reading Coelho's novels lately because of his amazing way of telling a story. Something that I really admire also to this author is that his novels has this unique thought and depth that would really makes a reader think and emphatize to the characters in the story.

Anyway, Its been long overdue since I visited my blogspot and decided to write something here. There's actually nothing extraordinary that happened to me. Just the normal stuff. Watched the Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien with guest Lisa Kudrow. Her Web Therapy videos are so hilarious. By the way, I love the new album of Black Eyed Peas' The E.N.D (The Energy Never Dies). The album has this infusion of addictive melodies with a lot of synthesizers. It's got this Daft Punk vibe. Their new album supposed to be their last album but who knows. I'm still hopeful that this band last for a very long time.

Wild Hope

How did I let that happened to me?

It's almost one month since the last time I wrote here in my blogspot. I was consumed by great depression for the past few months not knowing how to handle it. A proper clinical consultation suffice but somehow it was never made into consideration. I finally came to realize how stupid I was falling in love to a wrong girl. I'm not the kind of person who easily falls in love so fast. Trust me. I just can't believe it happened to me. I allowed myself to believe in love, when all along I was just an option. I guess, she's the lesson I needed to learn.

Love got me in it's highest of high and it's lowest of low. I now got the courage to face the fact that sometimes you will not get everything you really wanted. I guess this is what they call being a grown-up. Being responsible for yourself and your own actions. I will always keep an open mind as I take one step at a time.

I'm now going out (again), religiously going to the gym and finally found the passion again for cooking (which is a good sign). Below is a picture of my friends. We went out to a bar near my hometown just trying to enjoy each others company and not minding the stress of our job. Being surrounded with great friends also helped me to survive depression. I can only think of one thing that is greater than happiness and that is helping others to be happy as well.

But at the end of day, I'm still hoping to find someone who I can be with for the rest of my life. For no particular reason, I found myself smiling again.

Inside Wants Out

Words are not easy to come by
Whenever I look into your eyes
Resilient and Undying
As a fortress meant to burn

Trying to hold unto within
What seems to be so real
In a world full of lies
That made me realize

Possibility for a dream come true
Lost in the vagueness of your eyes
You’ve made a fool of me
As I stood still where you left me


But for now I’ll be a clown
To entertain anyone who is down
Then I will consider myself brave
Even if your stepping on my grave

And so I’m older now
But what’s left of me?
Still this burden that keeps knockin’
You couldn’t recognize what’s within

From the inside wants out
This is what I’m about
One thing is for sure
I’ll never be the same again

Live Your Life

Music has played a huge part of my life for as long as I can remember. When I was five years old I got my first set of album from my aunt. She gave it to me as a gift. It's a four set of albums which consist of children songs from "ABC songs" to "It's a Small World (after all)". I used to listen to it all day long and I remember all the lyrics by heart. That would be the first time I realized that music can be inspiring and expressive. I started writing my own songs and poems secretly when I was in sixth grade. I was very curious as to how each song can reflect my mood from the inside without telling it to others directly. I grew up listening to my parent's album of The Beatles, The Carpenters and Frank Sinatra.

During the past few months, I've been thinking a lot. Depression sucks! But listening to my ipod keeps me sane in the office. It's my "comfort zone" everytime I'm feeling depressed.

Do you have a song or artist that helped you cope up with your depression?

I've been trying not to think about me being depress all the time. I know I need to move on. My friends keeps telling me that I'm not the same person as I was before. And I never thought I would be in this situation but it feels like it's gonna last for a long time. I never gave myself to someone like that. It's just funny how she doesn't even recognize the ways she hurt me. I'm so sick and tired of her taking me for granted.

Recently, I stumbled upon my collections of albums. I greatly admired artist like Jack Johnson, India Arie, John Mayer and Shawn Colvin. However, I just can't stop listening to T.I.'s new album "Papertrail" right now. At one point I forgot how depress I am. I love his new song featuring Justin Timberlake called "Dead and Gone" and "Live Your Life" with Rihanna. It's funny how music can change your mood. It's almost like a boost of confidence and energy to your body.

At the end of the day, I don't have any regrets to the choices I made. I learned a lot from this experience. I'm just gonna live my life instead of chasing for that girl! And I ain't got no time for them haters!

I have so much life left to live.

One of These Days

A famous person once said that "One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter." And I believe that there are a lot of reasons why someone can't just say the things in his heart. There's a voice in my head that keeps telling me not to complicate the things that are already complicated.

I'm only human. And it's killing me everytime I see them. I'm trying to focus on my job as if nothing is wrong but most of my friends are finally noticing something is off. It's as if I'm wearing this mask trying to keep it together.

If you love someone, would you fight for it no matter what the consequence are even if you knew that your gonna hurt your close friend in the process or would you just let the pain remain and continue the friendship that you have in the first place and hoping that someday there will be a chance you can be together?

I guess I'm scared of the consequences that this action might bring. But one of the reasons why I want to let it out is for me to avoid any "what if's" in the future. My heart is telling me to go on and say it but my mind is telling me not to and just keep it to myself. I wish I could get her alone and just say the things I wanted to say. She is always with someone and I just couldn't get the chance to speak to her.

I never had a problem speaking to what's in my mind but when it comes to speaking what's in the heart....then that's another issue. Right now, I'm trying to be the best guy for her. Hoping that someday she will notice it. Maybe one of these days.....

It's in Our Hands

It's a new year! After all the endless christmas parties and reunions, its now time to go back to our usual routine. It sucks. I know. But its a new year and it's already 2009. Even if it still feels the same, its nice to set a goal for yourself this year of the ox. I know it sounds cliche putting up New Year's resolution but, hey, at least it's something that can be productive. People are talking about how New Year's resolutions are bound to be harmful to our mental health and, thus, be destroyed. I think it's still up to us whether we should stick to our goals or not whether its a new year or not. It's just a matter of choice. Right?

Anyway, my New Year's resolution is that I'm gonna take some time to take care of my body by going to the gym. For a twentysomething guy wanting to go to the gym is pretty predictable. But I already signed up early this year with my friends back in college. I think its much better if you have your friends around you than going to the gym alone. Don't you think?

When everything is said and done, all you have to do is just accept the truth and move on. Starting all over again from scratch is hardwork and sometimes it requires you to sacrifice a lot. But when the push comes to shove, sometimes the best thing to do is to learn the art of acceptance first to be able to move forward. This new year......I choose to live happier.