Live Your Life

Music has played a huge part of my life for as long as I can remember. When I was five years old I got my first set of album from my aunt. She gave it to me as a gift. It's a four set of albums which consist of children songs from "ABC songs" to "It's a Small World (after all)". I used to listen to it all day long and I remember all the lyrics by heart. That would be the first time I realized that music can be inspiring and expressive. I started writing my own songs and poems secretly when I was in sixth grade. I was very curious as to how each song can reflect my mood from the inside without telling it to others directly. I grew up listening to my parent's album of The Beatles, The Carpenters and Frank Sinatra.

During the past few months, I've been thinking a lot. Depression sucks! But listening to my ipod keeps me sane in the office. It's my "comfort zone" everytime I'm feeling depressed.

Do you have a song or artist that helped you cope up with your depression?

I've been trying not to think about me being depress all the time. I know I need to move on. My friends keeps telling me that I'm not the same person as I was before. And I never thought I would be in this situation but it feels like it's gonna last for a long time. I never gave myself to someone like that. It's just funny how she doesn't even recognize the ways she hurt me. I'm so sick and tired of her taking me for granted.

Recently, I stumbled upon my collections of albums. I greatly admired artist like Jack Johnson, India Arie, John Mayer and Shawn Colvin. However, I just can't stop listening to T.I.'s new album "Papertrail" right now. At one point I forgot how depress I am. I love his new song featuring Justin Timberlake called "Dead and Gone" and "Live Your Life" with Rihanna. It's funny how music can change your mood. It's almost like a boost of confidence and energy to your body.

At the end of the day, I don't have any regrets to the choices I made. I learned a lot from this experience. I'm just gonna live my life instead of chasing for that girl! And I ain't got no time for them haters!

I have so much life left to live.

One of These Days

A famous person once said that "One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter." And I believe that there are a lot of reasons why someone can't just say the things in his heart. There's a voice in my head that keeps telling me not to complicate the things that are already complicated.

I'm only human. And it's killing me everytime I see them. I'm trying to focus on my job as if nothing is wrong but most of my friends are finally noticing something is off. It's as if I'm wearing this mask trying to keep it together.

If you love someone, would you fight for it no matter what the consequence are even if you knew that your gonna hurt your close friend in the process or would you just let the pain remain and continue the friendship that you have in the first place and hoping that someday there will be a chance you can be together?

I guess I'm scared of the consequences that this action might bring. But one of the reasons why I want to let it out is for me to avoid any "what if's" in the future. My heart is telling me to go on and say it but my mind is telling me not to and just keep it to myself. I wish I could get her alone and just say the things I wanted to say. She is always with someone and I just couldn't get the chance to speak to her.

I never had a problem speaking to what's in my mind but when it comes to speaking what's in the heart....then that's another issue. Right now, I'm trying to be the best guy for her. Hoping that someday she will notice it. Maybe one of these days.....

It's in Our Hands

It's a new year! After all the endless christmas parties and reunions, its now time to go back to our usual routine. It sucks. I know. But its a new year and it's already 2009. Even if it still feels the same, its nice to set a goal for yourself this year of the ox. I know it sounds cliche putting up New Year's resolution but, hey, at least it's something that can be productive. People are talking about how New Year's resolutions are bound to be harmful to our mental health and, thus, be destroyed. I think it's still up to us whether we should stick to our goals or not whether its a new year or not. It's just a matter of choice. Right?

Anyway, my New Year's resolution is that I'm gonna take some time to take care of my body by going to the gym. For a twentysomething guy wanting to go to the gym is pretty predictable. But I already signed up early this year with my friends back in college. I think its much better if you have your friends around you than going to the gym alone. Don't you think?

When everything is said and done, all you have to do is just accept the truth and move on. Starting all over again from scratch is hardwork and sometimes it requires you to sacrifice a lot. But when the push comes to shove, sometimes the best thing to do is to learn the art of acceptance first to be able to move forward. This new year......I choose to live happier.